22. July. 2022
A Quiet Celebration
Taking A Significant step… FOR me.
Yesterday, the 22nd of July, 2022, I celebrated two years since this website was launched. I remember continually going over the pros and cons of having a website, and trying to determine if it was even necessary with the age of social media. I looked at countless YouTube videos discussing the pros and cons of having a website to market your photography, and the services offered and the opportunities that ‘could’ arise. I was very anxious because, if I took this step, it would mean I was serious about going into photography professionally… a term that I’m still a bit uncomfortable with, or perhaps a bit confused by.
I took that leap and hadn’t really paid much attention to the date that I opened my squarespace account and signed up for a website and domain. All I knew was that I was ready and I felt an excitement and peace at the same time.
Seeing your work in this format instead of the other platforms feels different. It makes the dream and my pursuit of it feel more real. For a long time I couldn’t bare to have my work seen, I only let a trusted few privy to it… afraid of the critique, the comparisons and the rejections that I may face, real or imagined. I imagined so many voices all saying that my work was no good… just someone with an expensive camera ‘playing’ that they are a photographer.
But what I was creating, the process, the connections with my subjects, I loved. Everything about it. Yet I still I preferred to hide and not ‘put my work’ out there. That’s because ‘YOU’ are putting yourself out there.
When my mom got home that day two years ago, I let her relax and settle and then let her that I took the leap and launched my website. Although my mom is my biggest supporter, I was still nervous as to what she would think of the site. I sat at the side of her, barely looking at her, but glancing her smiling as she scrolled. I was happy.
I then shared it with a couple of friends to get feedback and I made a couple of tweaks here and there. But I felt settled. As mentioned before, I experienced excitement and peace at the same time. Right before moms went to bed, she reminded me that it was my ‘Kung Kung’s’ birthday. I knew there was something about that day! My Grandfather was one of the biggest influences in my life. He passed away when I was 10 years old, but it’s one of the biggest losses for me. His gentle demeanour, his smile and his generosity stood out to me, and I always wanted to make him proud. To let him know that his blood that runs through my veins, will do something big, will leave a legacy worthy of the Chu Leung name. I know I sound ridiculous, but I’ve always felt like that. To make my Kung Kung proud.
This is where I believe photography plays a part. Photography is much more than just being able to take a photo, it’s about making a connection with your subject and the perceived audience. What story do you wish to tell? What emotion do you wish to invoke? What memory would you like to freeze. I wish to tell stories with my work, to change minds, to give insights into others, to expose our vulnerabilities and to show that we all are more similar than not.
My Kung Kung and I
During the pandemic, not being able to photograph others outside of my household, I began to take self portraits. Growing up, I had never considered myself beautiful, and in fact, I would shrink away when out with friends I considered beautiful. Who would look at me? And why? Looking back, I think I lived half a life up until my mid thirties… during the pandemic, I decided to step in front of the camera and to accept myself wholly and to appreciate all my wrinkles, my grey hairs, and chubby cheeks. Self portraits gave me an avenue to relax, to unwind, to decompress, to create and to appreciate and start to really love myself. I am always hella anxious to post, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to be misunderstood and thought of as vain etc… but being able to post photos of myself that I consider beautiful, helps to build my confidence.I stepped out into the front.
So… I celebrated my two year anniversary of taking this step, this step towards doing what I really love and have a passion for. You can see from this blog as well, that I started writing. At first, it was mainly for me, but very quickly it evolved. It evolved to something in which to use to encourage you the reader… What would I like to say to my younger self? What would I like to say to a friend that is afraid to take the leap and should take the leap?
Pursue what you really want for your life, to pursue what feeds your soul with joy, to step out of your safety zone and into the unknown.
What do you have to lose?
If not now, then when?
Take that first step.
With lots of Love,
Mimi.
