'Watch Yuh Mouth'
I’ve been struggling a whole lot to be consistent in writing and my personal photography projects… I am not a writer, but it does feel cathartic after I’ve put ‘pen to paper’.
There is so much going on around us that we cannot control, but what we can, is ourselves. No matter what anyone says - that they had no self control, there was always a window in time where we could have stopped ourselves, chosen a different thought, avoided conflict and just choose the path that would not lead to the next that would lead to a next and then down the rabbit hole.
‘Watch yuh mouth’ - coming from a West Indian home, you are more than likely familiar with this phrase, usually being shouted at you after you have said something… there is a lot to ‘say’ about what leaves our lips and enters the space around us.
November and December of 2021, I let my mind hold me ransom, and allowed negative thoughts flow… I remember reaching a point where I just felt hopeless and the thoughts just came. Emotionally I felt unwell… being a teacher and trying to put on a happy and enthusiastic face for my students, because I knew that many of them did not come from a happy home, was exhausting, but it was needed… for them.
‘Watch yuh mouth’ - it starts a lot earlier than what you let leave your lips… it starts with the thoughts that you allow to hold you ransom, it feels as if there are two people inside of us… us, and that voice that if you allow air time, raises the volume and drowns you out. Mid January, I had enough… enough of pretending and that everything was fine and I had enough of listening to that other voice. I began to search YouTube for easy listening but motivational speakers… I came across one, and the phrase that stuck out to me the most was ‘Choose the path of least resistance’. You know that path when you are faced with certain situations - do I rebuttal or just let it go. Do I hold on to the reaction of the other person or just let it go. Do I make my point again, or just let it be? This phrase really impacted me, and I tried it… at first I wanted to revert to my old self, wanting to relive a conversation that didn’t go my way, or hold on to an experience that didn't bring me joy or a memory that stirred up painful emotions. But… I tried it… and I felt immediately better… I felt a weight lifted off my chest. Situations that were beyond my control, I recognised them for what they were, and left it up to God. I did as much as I could have, and then let the rest go. I didn’t constantly reply - ‘What if? How could they? They expect that???’ I just let it be.
‘Watch yuh mouth’ - You have to be careful of the words that you use about yourself - and we know we speak to ourselves a lot! When something seemed impossible, I would say, one step at a time, or, I will get there, or I just need to re-strategise or get another opinion. I would say to myself when something didn't go my way ,’ Everything is working out for me - for my good.’ So it’s time to make a change… a change in the way we view others, their opinions and ourselves.
‘Watch Yuh Mouth’ - Watch the words that leave your lips, and then, start to really look at the thoughts that led to those words. Time is so precious, and unless you can change a situation in your present time, let it go. Do what you can, then let it go. A conversation upset you, someone was mean to you, rude to you, didn’t consider you… that speaks volumes about them, not you, let it go. Time for you to love yourself, and it’s not just what we put on our skin, the clothes we wear, the food we eat… but what we put in our minds and hearts and what we allow to leave our lips.
‘Watch Yuh Mouth’ - you’ve probably seen many an inspirational quote alluding to the fact that everyone is carrying a load that we do not know… and this is so poignant. We DO NOT KNOW what is going on inside the mind of someone else, and we must always remember this. This pandemic has surely shown us a bit more of the hardships of others, what they have to endure, so we must be careful of the words that leave our lips… no matter how terrible they made us feel… or how much we want to show that we are right… it’s so important to step out of ourselves and think about the human, with all its flaws, just as we have, in front of us.
We must be aware of the power that we hold… to help, heal, or tear down… which do you choose?
Some things that helped me - not having my mobile next to me during the night - I let my loved ones know, if there is an emergency, call! I wrote out a very simple morning and night routine and read it the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night until it becomes a habit - at night, I say a short prayer of gratitude for the day and ask for healing and a restful sleep for my family, friends, pets, students and community. I then do 5-8 minutes of reading from a religious text or a motivational or uplifting book (no heavy topics before bed). I close my eyes for at least three minutes and smile - I try to travel to my happy place, the beach. At first, smiling by yourself may feel awkward, but really try to get in to it… the feeling. For example, at the beach, I’m imaging the sounds of the waves, the smell of the seawater, the feeling of sun on my skin. Then, lights out. In the morning, the first thing I say, and sometimes I have to say it several times ‘ Everything is happening for my good. Everything is always working out even though I may not see it at first.’ I then say a quick prayer thanking God for the day, and asking Him to protect, heal and guide my family, friends, pets, loved ones and students. I then say either 3 positive affirmations or 3 good things about myself. Then it’s up out of bed…
Simple steps can lead to big results…
Finally writing this did help me… maybe start a blog or journal… writing is so simple, but it helps so much.
As in Proverbs 18: 21 ‘ The tongue has the power of life and death.’ Watch yuh mouth.
Disclaimer - these thoughts were brought about by my own experiences and interactions with those around me. I’m aware that not everyone’s situation is the same and that abuse - be it physical, mental or verbal is very real. Trust your gut, if something says you need to get help, you need to leave, you need to call someone, please do it!
Your words can bring joy or pain… choose wisely.